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Created by OmoobaJesu Adetunji
The Comparison issue
A lot of things could be said about comparison. A lot of things that I am certain you already know and so is not worth repeating. I’m more interested in the why, why exactly do we compare ourselves? What do we think we gain? And even after we realize we gain nothing, why do we fall into the same trap again? I’m going to highlight a few things that might be wrong with your thought process if you’re somebody that compares and how you can bring about change and results of your own.
Do you like yourself?
I too did not always feel comfortable in my own skin but I had to realize that there’s only one me and I had better start being me cause nobody else could be me for me. Lol. Does that make any sense? you are always going to compare yourself if you feel like you’re not good enough or the person next to you is better than you in someway. You have to make peace with yourself and realize that no matter how cool or brilliant or blessed that person may seem, it doesn’t automatically mean they have more value than you. It’s about perspective and your mindset. If you started to believe in yourself too, it will change the way you move and carry yourself, and also the way that you see others. People will be of intrinsic value to you, not just a scale on which you measure your worth.
Are you committed to working on yourself?
Another reason why people compare is that they are just plain lazy and they know it. We often times know our potential and we can sense when we are falling short of that. Why would I compare myself to someone else if I know that I am giving my absolute best to the things I do every single day. Rather than comparing myself and feeling bad I would draw inspiration to do better. Comparison often stems from a place of knowing you can do better and not doing better, so I encourage you, DO BETTER for your own self! You’ll realize you don’t even have the time or energy to peep at what others have going on.
Are you proud?
I know at this point many people will get defensive. It took me a while to understand that self pity in itself was a form of pride. When you compare yourself to someone else aren’t you in a way saying that, oh, I should be where this person is, what does he/she have that I don’t? why don’t I have the same result? Aren’t you making yourself bigger than you actually are? You have no idea the sacrifices and the hard work that that person has put in over time. You don’t know anything about the details of their lives and you dare compare yourself to them. Doesn’t that make you irrationally full of yourself. If you genuinely think someone is doing better than you and you want similar results the appropriate thing to to is try to find out what they are doing and improve yourself. If it is something you cannot change, accept it, embrace it and find the beauty in it, instead of sitting in your sitting room running your mouth and wasting your time.
Take time to think through these things through the week and see how they apply to you.
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Love you, O.