Defeating Loneliness

It is a Sunday afternoon and loneliness has been seducing me for roughly three hours now. It’s crazy that this happening because 1) I went to church today; like I was there with God’s people, feels and all 2) I knew I was supposed to write about loneliness next and while in church, God had started to tell me about what to write, so it’s really funny that now, all alone in my room I am feeling quite lonely.

I know that we all feel lonely from time to time, some of us more often than we care to admit so let’s talk about it.

Loneliness comes from a place of remote disconnect with those around us. This tells us that it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re alone, it just means that you feel alone, like nobody gets you. I think for girls and even older woman, this can be deeply personal and can go on for many many years unnoticed to the point where you start to think, it’s natural and should be embraced. This is not so.

First thing first, loneliness is a sign that you crave connection. And not just any connection, deep, real, resonating connection. I am not saying you need a boy/girlfriend (although you might) but on a more fundamental note, you need a friend, or two. So… Find a friend or two. I know, it’s not as easy as it is to just say it, but still the bible says

Proverbs 18:24New King James Version (NKJV)

A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

I’m probably the most unqualified person to talk about this cause I have like two friends but still when they are around or when I am speaking to them I don’t feel lonely. Get one friend like that and you will be less lonely. Don’t be afraid to get your feelings hurt etc. If it does happen, be like Paul,

…Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead. (Phil 3:13)

Imagine all of the glorious things that lie ahead. God wants you to have good, strong relationships that bring you joy. Now that I think about it, I have quite an handful of friends, so many that I am starting to think I’m totally qualified to talked about this. Haha.

Another thing is, when you’re lonely, you’re most likely bored. Have you ever been in the middle of something important or tasking, then all of a sudden you realize you’re lonely? That seems ridiculous right? That’s because it is. Idleness brings with it negative thoughts and emotions. As such, you’d think we would avoid being idle, but on the contrary, we resolve to scrolling through social media when we are bored, which we don’t realize is also a form of idleness and might leave us worst off.

Go out. Take a walk. Go buy cake or a salad(?). Read a book. Do something you enjoy. Nap. Life is all about activity. It would be such a drag if we spent all our days just folding our hands now, wouldn’t it?

Loneliness means that you’re paying attention to all the wrong things, aka yourself. Don’t waste your loneliness, your time, obsessing over what could have been or what should be. Why not spend that time with God? Why not meditate on things God has spoken over you? Why not learn memory verses? The truth is before we have problems, God has already provided solutions. We are not alone. Read your Bible. Write down God’s promises. Take it personally. Pray in the spirit. Sing songs. Whatever you give your attention to, thrives. Choose within yourself that when lonely thoughts haunt you, you will fix your eyes on Jesus instead.

2 Corinthians 3:18 New International Version (NIV) And we all, who with unveiled faces reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

When we face the Son, all our shadows fall behind us. Everything finds it’s proper meaning in Christ, including you. See loneliness as an opportunities to spend time with Him and ultimately make him bigger, in so doing we find that loneliness becomes hollow and empty.

Let us also be reminded that just because we feel alone does not mean that we are, we are more surrounded than we can come to comprehend. The very deep connections that we seek are satisfied in God alone. We will be fine, if we stick with Him. He knows what we need and he is generous and kind to meet our needs, even emotionally. Remember He calls Himself the comforter. Although people can be a firm source of support, we do not rely solely on them because God has given us enough good sense to understand that they are only human too, plagued by limitations. We trust God to be there when all else fails and when it all comes together. He is the good Shepherd. He is here for the good and bad days. How sweet!

Love & love —O

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