Girls & Addiction [Sex, Drugs, Porn, Alcohol and Whatnot]

Most of the time guys get all the bad rep for getting addicted. I mean you have care centres all over the internet catering to guys with porn and sex addiction and even drug abuse. But it seems that women always get the lesser sentence per se. People don’t talk about it. I think it comes from the idea that women or girls are less sexual than men or boys. That’s a myth, sexuality, libido or just the appetite for destructive things and addictions has nothing to do with gender or age. That said I know a lot of girls struggle with addiction. I struggled with porn and mastrubation for the better part of my life so far and I am here and excited to tell you it’s possible to live free of those chains by the power of the Holy Spirit.

First, to be free of addiction, be born again. The gift of freedom is made available in Christ alone. Your desires and flesh will always rule over you unless you give yourself over to God. Understand the concept of grace and believe wholeheartedly, like a child. God died for your sinful nature, so that you could live a free life, free of shackles of any kind. All you need to do to partake of that gift of God is to believe. It’s really not that complicated and I know that a lot of people have heard it before, but just in case you haven’t I want you to know that God loves you and he desires that you live your best life, above all the limitations of being human. Being born again is a heart thing, so if you know you want to give your heart to God now, genuinely say a prayer, express yourself in your own words, trust that the Holy Spirit will work out the rest. That’s it. You’re saved. Find a church and godly people to encourage you on your journey with Christ. It can only get better from here on out.

2 Corinthians 5:17 New King James Version (NKJV)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

If you’re already a believer before or for you that just became a believer now, the next thing I want to talk about is maximizing the distaste. There’s a desire to do bad things in everyone, but for God’s children, there’s a distaste. It’s like you just don’t want to do it anymore, you lose your desire to act on those impulses, now you just want to serve God. Your cravings have changed but you find that your mind is still polluted so it becomes a tug of war. My advice is to elaborate on your distaste, make a big deal out of it because it is and your mind might try to trick you into believing and acting like it’s not, so you have a responsibility to magnify it. Tell yourself repeatedly that you hate this, you don’t even want to do it and you have power over it. Soon, you will realize that the devil does not have any power over you. He only plays on whatever he finds in your hand. So let go of all the remnants, if something is turning you on, turn it off. Know what you want. That’s God right? So chase God, pursue God. Focus on Him. Don’t be preoccupied by your addiction and short comings. God does not see you that way. And if God is truly your concern, then his concern should be your concern too right? Trust me His concern is notyour sin. You have been made pure. You are holy, you are the best child in His eyes. He loves you endlessly.

Galatians 2:20 New International Version (NIV)

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Have a superiority mentality. You are above this. The truth is, it takes the Holy Spirit to make these things real and clear to us so it can bear fruits. I pray now in Jesus name, that if you are reading this and you have any addiction holding you down, I declare that your eyes be open, that light be flooded in your heart right now. That you see who you are, be aware of your place in Christ and you escape the tricks and schemes of the devil. Amen.

You are way more powerful than you think, through Christ. Meditate on this things. Meditate on who you are, on what God has done for you and you will see the chains that looked like they would be the end of you not too long ago, fall so weightlessly to your feet.

If you believe God and what he has said concerning you, then walk in faith. Get rid of your porn stash because that’s not you anymore, get rid of the bottles, and get rid of the friends. In fact if you are truly meditating on scripture and growing in God those people will fall away from you because you would be different. Most times though, there is also a need for you to take a stand, and dissociate yourself from bad company.

Whatever your addiction might be, you are not your addiction. You are the child of the living God. You are free. Jesus borne your addictions on the cross. He died for that. He made you a new person, impenetrable to sin, so if you continue in that line, just know that you are pretending to be someone you are not, it’s like you are acting a role in a movie—that’s not the real you. Also you are only postponing God’s plan for your life. Get serious, get real.

Meditate on what Christ has done, let the goodness of our Lord Jesus Christ fill you up to the extent that you begin to harbour a severe distaste for the things of the devil. Even as you are reading this, the Holy Spirit has started a work in you! Hallelujah! Sin has lost its appeal to you. Christ is being formed in you. Praise God! If you felt this happen inside you or if you got born again earlier as you read this, please share your testimony in the comments section and if you have any questions feel free to ask.

Till next time, grace, peace and much love.

10 Tips on Surviving 100Level [Freshman Year] in Uni

This is not Secondary School.

That you were a super star in secondary school does not count for much here. It’s a new system entirely, don’t be swayed.  Be observant, be self-aware and be ready to work.

Be ready to get to your Lecture Hall super early.

And be ready see the largest crowd ever. You will often find that one or even two hours before your lectures start your hall is most likely swamped with students, and you might have lectures as early as 8am. It’s either you get into the habit of getting to the hall very early or you make friends that can help you reserve a sit in front from time to time.

Beware of opportunists.

You’re the newbie on campus and a lot of people will be out to take advantage of you because of that. Beware of people who will come up to you selling books that guarantee As and people who will lure you to their tutorial classes. Be skeptic first. Try out a few and a make an intelligent choice on time. Don’t be carried away with all the sweet talk. There will be “bad people” on your case too. Yahoo boys and the likes. If you know that you are in school to study and you want to be serious with what you’re here to do, then avoid such associates.

Relax on making friends.

Don’t be too eager to make friends or mingle, be intentional about those you hang around. Many have gotten into trouble because of the friends they keep and trust me, there is an endless stream of trouble to fall into in school.

Eat.

Eating might prove difficult to fit into your schedule at first but try to do it often. Try to find a system that works for you. Maybe you’ll have buy food more than you cook. Just make sure you eat.

Stay Positive

Good things happen to those that expect it. School is challenging. Tough days will come, hang in there. Laugh at your mistakes. Find the humor in life. Don’t take it all too personally or seriously. The way we all survive in this Nigeria is by hoping and laughing at all the troubles. Not that we are not interested in working towards a better future, but we also know that things could be a lot worse plus humor brightens our faces, put us in a lighter mood.

Adapting is going to take some time

You will adapt to how things work with time, so don’t be too hard on your self. Before you know it you will be in 500level and you’ll wonder where all the time went.

Join a Fellowship early

Fellowships help with a lot of stuff. They help with information and tutorials etc. Plus all that help is coming from a place you can trust, a place that is good and won’t extort you. Also it’s a good place to find friends of like minds that you can grow with.

Be ready to do a lot of walking

For most schools, trekking is how you get from one place to the other so be prepared. Get comfy shoes and maybe if you’re not feeling too much like a big girl or a big boy buy a water bottle. Walking is good exercise and it can be a lot of fun when you have your friends with you.

You’re not grown yet, ask for help when you need it.

Don’t think that you can handle everything on your own. If you are having trouble don’t hesitate to ask for help, probably at your fellowship and if possible call your parents. It doesn’t mean you are weak, it just means you are wise enough to ask for help with something you can’t handle on your own instead of wasting your time. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to take care of things that come up on your own, by all means do that but don’t go round and round in circles if there’s someone you can ask.