Should A Christian Have Crushes?

one of my younger girlfriends asked me this question—by younger i mean 16/17—and i didn’t want to give her a shallow answer so i thought i’d actually give it a thought and ask God about it. Now before we go on to discuss this, let’s define our terms. there are two major nouns in this question

crush: a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable.

christian: someone who has received the gift of forgiveness and eternal life from God through faith in Jesus’ death and resurrection.

now that all that is clear, lets talk about what we all know to be a crush. so you see this guy or girl you like and you are attracted to this person so you start to fantasize about being in a relationship with that person, so much so that in your head you are actually already in a relationship with that person. to know whether as Christians, we should do this, we have to look into how God sees a relationship and what he says love is. the way we (christians) do things—especially in terms of marriage—is absolutely different from the way the world does things because you see, marriage is a picture of God’s relationship with the church and so God doesn’t take it lightly, because in case you haven’t noticed, God doesn’t take you lightly (Zechariah 2:8). He takes His relationship with you very seriously (Deut 31:6).

i believe that when you really understand this as a Christian you are more purposeful about your relationships, especially your romantic emotions. we also need to understand that there’s a way God expects you to treat people. we are asked to be selfless in our love, and look out for the good of others. the truth is that crushes have very little to do with love. when you are crushing on someone, you are interested in their outward projections; who you think they are and most especially, their bodies. true love is nothing like that, true love is a reflection of God himself (1 Cor 13:4-7). it’s like you have a chance to be driven to an occasion in a limo and you’d rather let an okada take you to where you are going. what you are looking for is love, but you are letting your mind ride the lesser vehicle. you will not get the full experience of the journey that God intends for you.

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to answer the question, no, you shouldn’t have crushes the same way you shouldn’t feel jealous when someone else has something you want but you will because you are still covered in flesh and your emotions and mind will sometimes go astray. you might feel a certain attraction towards a certain somebody but listen, i’d advise that you don’t call it a crush, don’t give it a name. giving it a name, that makes it a thing, that makes it harder to dismiss. you see, your walk as a child of God in this world dwells on what you decide to accept as real and what you don’t. if you see your attraction to someone as a crush, then you are validating that tingle and a long chain of events can arise from that simple validation.

i once wrote an article about how in reality nobody is single, and everyone is either unmarried or married. in that light if you are unmarried there are several things that the bible suggests you should use your time and mind for, to keep it from wandering far and wide.

focus of God. i can assure you that there is truly nothing more satisfying. focus on the things that God says are important. wisdom. standing up for the oppressed. growing in the spirit. loving people. these are things that takes a lifetime to learn, it doesn’t stop and they are the things that grantee an long and fulfilling life. when you are on your deathbed, you won’t remember any of your crushes.

if you do have a crush at the moment, i’d say you should disregard it, don’t discuss it, don’t even so much as pray about it, i mean you can if you want to but you have to know that things like these bloom in the green room of attention. if you keep watering your attraction, it will consume you and you will not know how to detangle yourself. so starve the feeling and it will leave you alone. give you mind to God and i promise, He will thoroughly blow it, much more than any guy or gal can.

love & light.

references: ben stuart’s instagram.

10 Things You Need To Know About Preclinicals Before You Get In

From my experience as a LAUTECH medstudent. 

1. Always eat before anatomy practical.

There’s a reason this is number one.  If you don’t eat,  you will hate the whole thing (and most likely almost faint or even faint) and let me just tell you now, anatomy practical lasts about 3 hours. And really, don’t let anyone lie to you,  it’s quite interesting  to see all those things you see in your atlas in real life,  even though it’s actually a dead body.

Seeing a cadaver also has a way of making you think philosophically about life and how you are not really your body but then all that will fade away after some weeks and you will carry on slapping  makeup on your face.

2. Start studying immediately  after your 100level second semester exams.

This is not drill.  Start studying immediately,  I mean it.  Like go and get Keith (it’s not Kate) Moore and higher education and start studying and making notes. There’s  no time really and you need sometime to adjust to reading and not understanding (lol) and learning all the new terminologies. Start early is all I am saying. I didn’t and it didn’t  turn out good for me at all.

3. Yes, your life as you know it will end. But have no fear,  a new interesting life is beginning.

Just know that as a medstudent your life is going to change. You yourself will change. It’s like being born again,  old things will pass away,  all things will be new. Don’t fight the change,  embrace it.  Enjoy it even. You go dey alright.

4. Always attend physiology lectures.

As far as I am concerned  that’s  the only department that takes lectures  seriously followed by anatomy.  Biochemistry  is just a story for another  day.  And not a good story mind you. PSG lectures are especially important  and worth the attendance so don’t miss it.

5. Don’t let any lecturer scare you. See it all as motivation instead.

You will most likely encounter lecturers that will put up a tough front and make you want to hide under the table the entire class. Listen, just relax.  Don’t take it all too seriously. Study hard,  pass your in-courses, ultimately  pass your exams and you’ll  be done with the whole thing. They may not be great at teaching in terms of explaining but they will keep you on your toes in terms of asking you all sorts of questions while you are on your feet right in the middle of class. It’s all good. Stay motivated.

6 Don’t neglect Biochemistry.

Ugh.  All you have to know is that it will be easy to neglect biochemistry.  Don’t do it!

7. Find time to relax.

Rest is important. It is easy to get caught up in all the work and forget to take care of yourself. Try to give yourself a free day or free hours.  Reflect,  mediate and draw strength to get to work again. There’s great power in rest, don’t overlook it.

8. Come up with a plan and a clear goal on time.

Yeah, don’t sleep on this. The truth is that you will have to change plans and methods over and over till you find what works for you so it’s just better to start on time. Start reading about memorization  and active study.  Start planning how many hours you will study and how you will take breaks. Be proactive. Don’t let anything just happen to you without some sort of preparation on your part.  Then have a goal and I’m not talking about “I want to have all distinction”.  That’s a short sighted goal. There’s nobody you ask that won’t say they want distinction. Find something bigger. For me, it’s that I want to give my paitents the best care possible. I want to be a great doctor, a well informed doctor, because one day someone’s life will be in my hands and I don’t want it to be that my incompetence leads to a complication. That would be terrible. So all of my reading is really to reach that goal.  Having distintions all through is a by product of what I really what.  Think more like that.

9. Don’t  let your classmates intimidate you,  mingle and join the discussions.

There are people in your class that will seem like they are the gods of medicine. That’s  normal.  It is also none of your business. If you can, befriend them so you can learn a thing or two but if you can’t just continue on your journey and do your work.  What you shouldn’t even attempt is self doubt.  That’s  just a dumb waste of time.  And if there’s one thing you shouldn’t waste in medical school, it is your time. As long as you got into medical school on your own, then you are perfectly  capable  of handling  the work.  And I hope you know that self pity itself is a form of pride,  so just don’t even think about it. You will be discouraged and get tired sometimes but it doesn’t really matter you know,  just rest,  recharge and run.

10. Befriend your senoirs.

I didn’t  really have so much of this but I know people who did/do and honestly, nothing compares to the advantage  of someone showing you the way. It’s  what I’m doing right now with you. Imagine if you had about 10 seniors in your corner. You are already partly a success.

Aside the strikes, I think  LAUTECH’s medical program is fine. Just like every other medschool,  you have to study and once you get the hang of it, there’s nothing quite like it—it is intriguing and amazing learning about the human body in such depth. I wish you all the best in your medical endeavors!

I hope you found this helpful, if you did please leave a comment and feel free to ask any questions.