You Do Not Need To Strike A Balance

The typical way an article like this begins is by telling you that all my life, at every stage of development, people have been telling me I need to strike a balance. But that isn’t true. I think I’ve only read about these things. Or maybe heard it slip from the lips of someone I just met in a bid to impress me (I think). People always feel they need to make an impression around me. I don’t know why. We all know the balance thing to be common knowledge, like when they ask you how you do it all? You say balance. It’s reflex—even though you don’t have the slightest idea what “balance” is, or how you have sort of achieved it. I know this from all the books I’ve read and interviews I’ve seen (I’ve read and seen a lot) nobody ever ever goes step by step into how they achieved balance. They simply assume you know exactly what they are talking about when they say the word. Like when you say Donald Trump and (almost) everyone shakes their head. It’s the same thing, only this time (with balance) everyone nods.

What if I told you balance was a fluke? One of the many monstrous lies we tell ourselves. There’s no such thing as balance, at least not in real life, not if you want to do some epic stuff with your life. I’m barely in my twenties, I don’t have a full-time job yet, don’t have a boyfriend either, most of my life is school (it’s been that way for while) but I can tell you a thing or two. When you are trying to joggle many different concepts in your mind (I’m starting with the mind because that’s the beginning and end of all things)  it’s not so much about what you are trying to joggle as it is about you. Here is what I am trying to say; let’s say you have a to-do list of about five basic things to do everyday, what will determine what you do and what you don’t, and how you do it, is not the things on the list, it’s not how easy or hard they are. It’s just you. It’s your character. But you know this already, right? Wrong. You only think you do, but you don’t. Not yet. You will by the time we are done here.

Character—the magic word. What we don’t understand about our character aka (also know as) who we are is that we take it everywhere. See, it doesn’t really matter whether or not, you’re a mom, and you work, and you blog, and let’s not forget you’re a wife too, daughter, auntie, feminist (?), (part-time) pastor, counselor, role model, Instagram Queen (eye-roll: no offense). Yeah. All that. It’s doesn’t matter. Because you know what you take into all of that? That’s right, you. You. You. You. You are what you take everywhere. Let that sink in for a minute. I mean it. Just let it marinate for a while.

Do you get why character is gravely important now? Can you see it? We got it all wrong, it’s not about balance. Who needs balance? You don’t. Balance is defined as:


An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady. Or a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.

The idea of balance says that you need to make cuts to parts of your life so that you can somehow be whole, be complete, be balanced (?). But hey, it doesn’t work that way. When you are a mom, you need to be fully mom. When you are wife, be that, all the way—as a whole. When you at school, be at school. Be present. When you are at… You get the point. What makes you know when to stop what you are doing and move to the next, is a product of who you are on the inside, the strength of your character. Maybe you don’t even have to switch roles, maybe you just have to be who you are. Maybe that’s infact what we all do, while we imagine when are droping one hat to pick up the next. What makes you a great mom, and a great boss, and great daughter all at the same time is that fundamental, no tags attached, you are a great person. 

You know I could lie to you and say you already have what it takes. It’s in you, just go ahead and live it out. All that nonsense. Truth is, you need to be involved. It’s so funny but just as I was thinking about this idea, it occurred to me that the bible has been so kind as to give us all we need to build a strong character, to be great people. It’s in Galatians 5:22-23.

But the fruit of the Spirit is lovejoypeaceforbearancekindnessgoodnessfaithfulnessgentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

The fruits of the spirit. Jackpot! Makes absolute sense. I know you are about to say there are a lot of non-believers that exhibit only one or two of these gift and are very successful. I have two questions I want you to think about:

  1. Do you know anyone who exhibits all the gifts of the spirit and isn’t a believer?
  2. Do you know anyone that doesn’t and is successful in all aspects of their life (without the mention of finding some kind of balance)?

I would advice that you actually think about this. Pick your brain for a minute or two. Think of the people you admire, the people you hope to become. Think of their marriages, their money, their mental health. Isn’t there always some collateral damage that comes with the success of those without faith. The bible says the blessing is the Lord makes rich and adds no sorrow (Proverbs 10:22). I strongly believe that all that you need to be great in this life, is a strong character. And a strong character is defined by the fruits of the spirit. You must stir it up. You must practice it. You must push into it. You must grow into it, even though it is already inside you like a gene. It’s a paradox. A good one.

All you need is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, which are visible, tangible products of consistent fellowship with the Holy Spirit. There’s no short-cut.

So dear reader, dear friend, dear someone-who-just-stumbled-on-my-blog, dear you, you incredible creature of explosive potential, you do not need to strike a balance. You need to walk in the spirit, at all times. Just long as you breathe.

PS: I know that there’s also a chance you don’t know who Jesus is and all this spirit talk seems like gibberish right about now, so let me tell you a few things. God loves you. He cares for you deeply, more than you’ll ever know and in a bid to develop a relationship with you (yes, God is THAT crazy about you) he sent his son to die for your sins; every bad thing you’ve ever done. His son, Jesus Christ paid for it all. And so this kind, compassionate God welcomes you into his family, and offers you the free gift of His spirit. All you have to do is accept the invitation and tell him you are ready. You are ready to come alive. You can do it now. He can hear you.


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