It’s unbelievable to me now
That I ever thought 
I was going to die from the mere possibility that you would leave
That the tears would never stop coming when you eventually did 
Like it meant nothing, like I meant nothing
Like what had been a universe to me 
Had been a pebble on the beach to you
It felt a lot like an earthquake, sudden, violent, out of nowhere 
And then also like a flood, I was drowning.
It’s unbelievable to me now
That I could love like that, with the whole of my chest region out on a limb
Calling your name, singing your song
That it could end
That I did die, not once or twice
Not in a complacent, passive way either
These were deaths that took their time, and toil 
And tore deep at the core of my being
Hitting all the nerves I never imagined existed. 
It’s unbelievable,
That that ended too, more abruptly than I expected
Like waking up one morning and realising you are alive 
In the most indomitable way.
It’s unbelievable to me now, 
That I can call you friend, genuinely
Watch you succeed and cheer you on
Wish you the best and more.
It is baffling to see that I could love another
Lifetimes more than I could have ever loved you
That in all my deaths
I was being reborn 
An inch more God than human.

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